Yes yes yes. When women unleash tirades on potential or current boyfriends or engage in stalking, they’re crazy. When men do it, it’s “just how guys are” or they’re “playing the game” or even “romantic.” Or somehow feminism is to blame. Abuse occurs on a spectrum and both my research and personal experience have shown that someone who engages in low-level toxic behaviors are more likely to escalate to sustained abuse, assault, or murder. Not all, and frankly I’m tired of having to say that. But too many. And too many people blaming women for existing when actually we should just blame the assholes for asshole behavior.

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