Photo by Ken Horkavy on Unsplash

With Love from Florida

Rachel Wayne
4 min readJul 30

Dearest friend,

Dang, it’s been so long since I’ve spoken to you. So much has changed, huh? We used to live in the greatest country on Earth, with all the green fields and packed stadiums you could want. A land where you could do anything you wanted and people would cheer and maybe even buy you a drink. I know I miss rolling down I-95 with you, tossing Big Gulps at mile marker signs and making fun of folks with those Coexist stickers on their cars.

The past few years sure have tested our patience. Can’t believe we actually made it. I dunno about you, but I still have breathing issues from when Trader Joe’s made me wear a mask. I don’t go to those woke stores anymore. Thank God Governor DeSantis put a stop to all that face-diaper crap.

I been worried about you. Your state was locked down for so long…sure drives you crazy, right? It kinda scares me that so many people still lock themselves up in their houses. Work from home and all that. I’m really grateful that I got to keep going in to work. It just ain’t natural otherwise. Ashleigh is like 6 years old and kids are kinda needy at that age, you know? I got to get away LOL.

You got your home and your work, you know? Like the hubby’s got the fishing buddies and then us wives. The two don’t mix.

Speaking of unnatural, do you still have that coworker who thought they were a girl? I want you to be careful because I’ve heard that those transgenders can get really nuts sometimes. I mean, pretty much all 200 mass shootings we’ve had this year were done by transgenders. So just keep an eye on him and if he starts up, call the cops right away.

I’m real glad Governor DeSantis is putting a stop to that nonsense here. He’s make sure those weirdos don’t get to go into the wrong bathroom. And any parent who lets their son wear a dress or whatever will get their kid taken away and put with a normal Christian family. He banned those drag shows too. It made me sick that people were letting their kids see those dudes’ boobs and dicks while they’re lip-syncing to Madonna or whatever. I was getting Ashleigh into her bikini for the Little Miss Duval pageant, and one of the other girls was watching RuPaul on her phone. I shit you not. They’re going after those kids YOUNG.

Rachel Wayne

Artist/anthropologist/activist writing about art, media, culture, health, science, enterprise, and where they all meet. Join my list: