This Millennial is Sick of Your Bullshit

Seriously. Stop.

With your bullshit.

I’m a millennial. I’m not a teenager. (And don’t lump millennials in with Gen Z either.)

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I’m not lazy. In fact, I’ve worked hard every day of my adult life. I’ve worked holidays, birthdays, bad hair days, you name it. I went for years without paid vacation, sick leave, or healthcare. I was told that college was my key to the future and yet I was forced to work retail or temp despite graduating with honors! Did I become wealthy just by hard work? No. No one does. That doesn’t mean I don’t want the American Dream. Younger generations and people of color are less likely to have wealth, and that’s not because we’re lazy.

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And whose idea was it to give out trophies, hrmh? Not ours, STAN!

I’m not entitled. And I shouldn’t be mocked for wanting paid vacation, sick leave, and healthcare. It’s part of what we expect when we enter the job force because we saw that our parents had it. It’s exhausting to have to work while you’re sick, to constantly scrape up extra hours because salaried positions aren’t available for us because boomers are retiring later. Moreover, it’s not entitlement to want a good job for doing good work. We were all raised to believe that straight As + extracurriculars + SAT scores + internships = success. YOU TOLD US THIS. Now you mock us for wanting a good life? Fuck you.

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Wait, so we’re supposed to be drafted and then die to be able to want things?

And before anyone comes in saying that they only say that about millennials who didn’t work hard at school…what does it fucking matter? It doesn’t. You shouldn’t have to be a brainiac to live a comfortable life in a developed country! You should be compensated for the value of your work. If you think that millennials’ work simply doesn’t have value, then you’re a modern-day slave master and an ageist prick and also fuck you.

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As seen on my uncle’s Facebook page.

I’m not obsessed with social media. No more than anyone else, anyway. Why is it okay for older generations to use social media to share memes like this but not okay for younger generations to keep in touch with faraway friends through Snapchat? Oh, you think face-to-face contact is better? We fucking agree, but we don’t have the money to fly out to see our friend who finally got a real fucking job after racking up thousands in student loan debt to get two degrees to get a job that pays only $30k per year, KAREN!

I’m fucking tired of it. I can’t even LOOK at my phone while I’m out in public without some older person rolling their eyes. What if it’s work, huh? What if it’s my mom? Oh, right, only you are allowed to have your iPhone X, even if you don’t know how to use it!

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I’m not narcissistic. It’s not narcissistic to take selfies. We grew up posing for family portraits in overpriced photo studios with shitty backgrounds and forced smiles that made us all look insane, and you think we’re self-absorbed for taking pictures that we can adjust so we look our best — FOR FREE?!

Also, narcissism is defined as “extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.” How dare you call us selfish? And, “craving admiration”? Is that why we’re blamed by thousands of headlines for killing industries, ruining vacation, and being general drains on society? You’re trying to rid us of the high self-esteem you wrongly assume we have? We don’t have it. We feel like shit all the time. Maybe think about that when you demand that everyone feel sorry for you because you grew up playing with sticks and walking five miles down a dirt road to get to school.

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We’re such MURDERERS.

I’m not killing businesses. You really think only young people shop online? Then why is Amazon selling geriatric equipment? Also, did you ever stop to think that maybe things like department stores and chain buffets and wine in a box are just, you know, overpriced and pointless? Y’all are the ones with the money. Buy some real fucking wine and beer.

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Not sure about the math here…

We were handed a rough deal when we came of age. We’re making the best of it. And yet you ruthlessly mock us for things out of our control, for our tastes and aesthetic, for our lack of money (that’s really low), for our avocado toast and craft beer obsession (you’re the one eating canned spinach and drinking shitty beer and wine, SUSAN!), AND for eating Tide Pods EVEN THOUGH THAT’S GENERATION Z!!

I’m not whiny. I’m pissed off. I’m sick of your shit. You make assumptions and demand that everyone agree with your stereotypes and opinions. If that’s not an entitled and narcissistic attitude, I don’t know what is.

Grow up.

Written by

Writer by day, circus artist by night. I write about art, media, culture, health, science, and where they all meet. Join my list: http://eepurl.com/gD53QP

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