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Photo by Martin Péchy on Unsplash

The Time I Gave Myself an Intervention

Hey Rachel,

We need to talk. I’ve been avoiding saying something, because I don’t want to piss you off, but it’s gotten to the point that I’m just really concerned for your well-being.

There’s no easy way to say this, but … you’ve got to stop listening to the same 20 songs on Spotify.

You listened to “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” three times today. Isn’t that song repetitive enough?!

Please, for your own sake, try out some new music. It’s good for you to be exposed to new things.

Plus, I know you’ve been concerned about money recently. Why are you paying for Spotify Premium if you’re just going to listen to the same song again and again and again? For fuck’s sake, Rachel. You may as well have just bought the MP3s and put them on your phone to listen to on repeat.

No, don’t do that.

Please try to hear what I’m saying. There’s so much good stuff out there, you could literally listen to a new song every time you start the car for the rest of your life.

Yes, I know that Muse’s “Uprising” makes you feel like a badass. I get that. It’s okay to have an anthem. But admit it, you’re just being lazy at a certain point.

Okay, I’m sorry. Let me try that “I-statement” thing. that you aren’t opening yourself up to new musical possibilities.that you are annoying anyone who rides with you because they always have to listen to “Take Me Home Tonight.” And you insist on singing along, even though that your voice does not lend itself to that style of music.

Promise me that you’ll listen to a band you’ve never heard before, or at least the latest album of someone you like, rather than playing that 20-year-old song on repeat.

Okay. I love you too. Just remember, I’m here for you. And remember — I have the password to your Spotify.

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Writer by day, circus artist by night. I write about art, media, culture, health, science, and where they all meet. Join my list:

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