Sure, dear, if that’s what you want to imagine happened, knock yourself out. Remember, I’m a millennial with a death wish. I was merely playing on your words. Sadly, you didn’t get it.

Thank you for further proving my points, though. I love it.

I don’t need your “hommage,” but I can’t help but wonder what you thought would happen when you commented on a satirical essay? I think you know that you’re making me laugh, not cry.

Keep tossing out the insults, sunshine. You’re giving me great stuff to write about in future boomer-smashing essays.