Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Jacob Ufkes on Unsplash

Should You Be Afraid to Talk to Women?

Recently, in light of the #MeToo movement, many men have expressed concern about how to behave around women. They say they’re afraid to talk to a woman. Afraid to look at her, even. Henry Cavill blamed #MeToo for making him go back to his ex lest he be called a rapist. (Okay…) Even women have chimed in. “A man can’t even tell his female coworker she’s pretty anymore,” a woman on Facebook moaned, as though that had been her source of joy every morning at work.

Basically, these people are worried about the breaking down of friendly and flirty relations between men and women. They’re worried about not getting dates or having their intentions misread.

ut most importantly, they’re worried about their lives and careers being ruined. They think of women as something dangerous, capable of wiping out their existence with their wily ways. And many have responded that no, women are telling the truth and the accused men’s careers aren’t really ruined and society is the problem. Regardless, men are currently very afraid of women.

And they should be.

Women have been afraid of men for countless years. Until fairly recently, there was no legal definition of marital rape in the U.S. Around the world, women have been and still are disproportionately targeted in sexual violence. And even though things are improving, women are still afraid to speak out, because victims are swiftly disbelieved or thought to be “jumping on the bandwagon.” The story of Eve is waved in our faces as a reminder of how dishonest and awful women are.

How fucking disrespectful can you be.

Why do you feel the need to poke holes in someone’s story? Do you think that anyone who claims to have been robbed or assaulted is making it up for attention? Or to ruin the assailant’s career? No!

You think that about women because you hate them and you believe they’re manipulative liars. And you disbelieve men who come forward because you think “real men” couldn’t ever be sexually abused. You think of “weak” men as being like women — liars and manipulators.

We aren’t taking bullshit anymore. We’re angry. We’re fed up. And you should be afraid of us.

Yes, Harvey Weinstein’s career is ruined. So is Bill Cosby’s. Even if they bounce back, you’ll never think the same of them again.

Do you know who their accusers are? Do you see them being handed accolades and having to turn down hundreds of job offers?

No you fucking don’t.

There is no glory in being a victim. There are no perks to being an accuser. In fact, you’re in for a world of doubt, denigration, and danger. Yes, danger. When victims speak out, the abusers retaliate. The majority of homicides involved with domestic violence disputes occur after the victim tried to leave.

omen, and more men than you know, have been living in fear. It’s time to turn the tables. If you’re an abuser, you should be afraid. If you’re not an abuser, don’t worry.

And if you’re afraid to talk to a woman for fear that she’ll accuse you, you better take a step back and evaluate what you’re saying to her.

Follow me for more musings (and occasional rants) on society, violence, and feminism. You can also get me a coffee.

Writer by day, circus artist by night. I write about art, media, culture, health, science, and where they all meet. Join my list: http://eepurl.com/gD53QP

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store