Millennials are the merry murderers of the 21st century, slaying everything from golf to weddings. After all, they’re simply more interested in traveling to Third World countries or dining exclusively on avocado toast and gourmet coffee than being proper beer-drinkin’, homeownin’, Wal-Mart shoppin’ Americans. The biggest victim is the great American institution of retail, which millennials simply refuse to open their slim wallets to save.