I recently wrote about my ex-best friend who cheerfully told me that I “take things too personally.” I’ve also shared stories here about my boss who regularly described me as his “intern” even though I wasn’t, and the male commentators who are quick to call me a man-hater whenever I suggest that women may in fact not have as much privilege as they do.
It may sound like I’m a delicate snowflake. Like cruel comments from strangers bother me, and cruel comments from friends even more so. Like I’m oversensitive.
Well, I am.
I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). According to psychologists Elaine and Arthur Aron, HSPSs make up about 15 to 20 percent of the population, and experience greater sensitivity to all stimuli, including negative social encounters. Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) covers the full range of sensory input to our brains. Whether it’s loud noise or a subtle dig at our appearance, we hear it, notice it, process it, and then either dwell on it or shut down.
Recently, I posted on Facebook about starting a new exercise routine and wanting to get stronger. That was about the entirety of the post, which I thought was pretty innocuous, but it apparently rubbed one friend the wrong way. In what I felt was a total rebuffing of all the time we’d spent together, he criticized me for being self-absorbed and arrogant. I…
