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I Lost My Job Today
The Five Stages of Grief In One Hour
Yesterday was the first time that I felt truly excited about my job, which I’d had since April. I was on introductory probation, meaning that I couldn’t feel secure about my job until October. Still, I felt connected and integrated with the team, I had exciting projects lined up, and I finally got my Downloads folder sorted.
Today, I noticed that people weren’t messaging me like usual. I went out to lunch, went to one of my work locations to do some paperwork, and came back to my primary office. Then I received a notification that I was called to a “probationary status” meeting, scheduled during a team meeting that had been on the calendar for weeks.
I stared at the notification as a pit grew in my stomach. I knew instantly that they were letting me go, but I didn’t want to believe it. There was no other reason to schedule a random meeting with a vague title in the middle of a preexisting meeting, on a Friday afternoon.
This was the first stage of grief as I reckoned with my fate: denial.
The termination conversation was painful, but what really struck me was the disconnect I felt between what I felt and what they were saying I felt. They pointed to an apparent lack of ownership and passion on my part, while meanwhile I was thinking about all the…
