I have definitely been a performative ally, largely because I felt such peer pressure to show that I cared. Now, I'm done with the performance. I didn't post a black square on my profile because it didn't seem to matter. It won't bring George Floyd or Ahmaud Arbery or Breonna Taylor back. And I didn't want a bunch of pats on the back for not doing anything.
It's gross to piggyback on the Black Lives Matter movement to show how "woke" you are. Recently, I've become tired of white liberals clamoring over each other to show everyone how not-racist they are. These are the same people who refuse to learn anything about what POC experience in America — or anywhere in the world. Yet my social media feeds are full of their platitudes with hashtags.
But the truth is, I'm not a great ally — yet. I haven't known where to start. Upon reading your story, I realized that all I've really done from your list is read about racism and look critically at history. That was part of my education as an anthropologist. I've called out a coworker, but that's it. So, thank you for providing some guidance for real allyship. I want to do better.