I appreciate the overall thrust of this piece, but I just wanted to express an issue I have with this line. As a survivor of abuse, I’m tired of being told that I need to forgive my abuser to have a better life or love myself or whatever. I never will forgive him and I still love myself and my life. You’re not required to forgive people who deeply hurt you, and you definitely won’t cause a toxic environment if you aren’t able to do so.

Again, I enjoyed the piece and I’m sure that you are referring to people who hold petty grudges rather than those who struggle to forgive those who perpetuated atrocities. Just wanted to add my perspective. I think forgiveness has a strong role in overcoming self-loathing, and I fully believe that the person you need to forgive most is yourself.