How We Can Solve the War Between Millennials and Boomers

A modest proposal

Image by Patty Jansen from Pixabay

Despite my pathological laziness, I’ve rediscovered the entrepreneurial spirit that marks millennials’ disloyalty to our employers. I’m quitting my day job because I’ve found the perfect way to both defy our elders and avoid having to hear yet another boomer tantrum:

Eat the rich. Literally.

Ms. Wayne’s Meat Pies is a revolutionary concept that will both sate millennials’ voracious appetite for brunch and help protect our oh-so-delicate feelings.

We’ll simply turn boomers into delicious pies, then serve them their own nonsense.

Ms. Wayne’s Meat Pies includes the following delightful recipes:

The Karen

Spiced with cayenne to represent Karen’s hotheadedness, this delightful pie is stuffed with olives and blue cheese — the most entitled ingredients we could think of. This puffy pastry is full of hot air, just like Karen…and it’s so good, we promise you won’t be asking for a manager! (But if you do, you’ll get an up-close-and-personal view of our meat processing room…)

The Hank

Enjoy a whiskey-marinated filling that’s nearly bursting from this pie’s delightfully airy shell, which represents Hank’s ultra-thin…