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How to Get Over a Bad Day
And prepare yourself for the awfulness that is tomorrow
Google the title of this article and you’ll be met with a load of bunk about how having a bath, eating good food, and talking with a friend can help. Ignore all that. Here’s what you really need to do to overcome a bad day:
Listen to the worst music you can think of.
No, not “Bad Day.” That song will summon the demons of hell, and you don’t really want the end of the world, do you? Think Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me,” or maybe one of the lesser known Journey songs. If you can stand it, some Avril Lavigne might also be good.
Take a long shower.
Wash all that disgusting oil off your skin and dry up the aquifer to boot by taking as long a shower as humanly possible. If you had a really bad day, you can even sit there in the cold water and shiver your butt off. Don’t forget to refuse to use soap or shampoo to get anything actually clean.
Drink alcohol.
God invented alcohol for bad days—we all know that. He also invented bartenders, who can tell when you’re down and have their “Bad day?” face at the ready. Be sure to only order drinks on the rocks and stare straight ahead as you sip, wince, and slam the glass…
