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How My Slutty Decision Led to Lifelong Love
Conventional wisdom holds that there are two types of relationships: ones that start the “right” way and last for years, and those that start the “wrong” way and end in heartbreak or STDs or both.
Among the assumptions about “right”-starting relationships is that you meet the person through (healthy) social activities or mutual friends, go on several dates, and then discover you’re hopelessly in love.
That’s what I did. I met Jason* through the local theatre scene. He expressed admiration for my work, and that was the end of it until we were working on a show together. He needed rides to rehearsals and as we carpooled, we fell in love. He was 25 years older than I was, but I felt like we were soulmates. We first kissed like in the movies, where he planted one on me rather randomly, and my foot literally lifted off the ground. I felt so adored. He called me “goddess” and called me every day to say he couldn’t stop thinking about me.
Then the abuse started.
He started demanding to know where I was at all hours, and mocked or bullied me for the tiniest things. When I cut things off, he threatened suicide. He alternated between displays of passion and threats to kill me. Before I knew it, I was inextricably tied to him. In recovery circles, we call it trauma-bonding. It’s a large reason why…
