My top performing story on Medium is my takedown of positivity culture. And I stand by it. Insisting that people comply with rigid behaviors exemplifying “positive” behavior is damaging.
Why Positivity Culture is A Problem
That said, I’ve done a bit of work on my perception. And while I loathe performing positivity, I’ve noticed a difference over the past year as I’ve started to, not “think positive,” but “be positive.”
Therein lies the difference between positivity culture and positive living. It’s not even necessarily “positive.” It’s simply not negative.
Years ago, #FML was a common hashtag in my circle—and it wasn't always ironic. It’s short for Fuck My Life, and its uses ranged from life’s inconveniences to general statements about the quality of one’s life. I remembered, back when my life was a little more charmed (read: in college, naïve), thinking how negative these people were, writing #FML over a little thing like a lost umbrella. I understood more as my life got worse over the years, but I still tried to “remain positive,” much to my own detriment.
As a survivor of domestic violence who’s had everything from smear campaigns to horrible bosses, I’ve definitely had my share of FML moments. And as a Highly Sensitive Person who suffers from depression, anxiety, and suicidality, I’ve felt pretty…
