I was headed downtown to a party celebrating my city’s top creative talent. My friend had been nominated for her radio show and I was meeting her there. I was riding with two other friends. “What’s the name of your friend’s show?” one asked.
I paused. “I don’t know!” I said. “Oh my gosh, I’m a terrible friend.”
“Yeah, you are,” she said, teasingly but with just enough sincerity that I realized my true sin.
I didn’t know the name of my friend’s show because I’d never listened to it. I wanted to go downtown and support something that I knew nothing about. I was performing friendship rather than enacting it.
I was a terrible friend.
These days, it’s hard to develop or maintain adult friendships. We’re all so consumed by work and family, and our schedules rarely match up. I have a lot of performer friends who spend all their non-working hours rehearsing for shows, a lot of parent friends who are consumed by child-rearing, and a lot of longtime friends who are in different states or even countries. However, that’s no excuse for my lack of knowledge about what many of my friends do for a living, to whom they are married, or the names of their children. And at this point, I’m afraid to ask.
