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5 Phrases That Alienate and Annoy People
and what to say instead
We’ve all had conversations in which we felt uncomfortable, unheard, and unfulfilled. Perhaps our conversation partner’s head was off in the clouds. Perhaps they have a bit of a listening problem.
Or perhaps it’s you.
Every book and article about how to be a likable person/get more friends/be more charismatic focuses on listening to others, making them feel good, etc. Sure, that’s all important, but what you say matters too. People can always sniff out insincerity.
No one will like you if you’re all smiles and then say something as tactless as a sea slug. You’ll annoy people if you pretend to listen to their thoughts and dump compliments on them, then dismiss their feelings. There’s a fine line between performing “niceness” and actually being a cool person to talk to — but there are some things you should just never say.
“You do you.”
The subtext of this phrase is rather loud. Often uttered by people who are too “nice” to say judgmental things outright, this phrase is disguised as an affirmation but is the equivalent of a verbal eyeroll. When you say this to people, you’re letting them know that you don’t really care for their way of doing things. But is that really something that needs to be…
